another moral hangover. fuck.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
