I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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