Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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