i barfeds in our rink
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
