my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
