He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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