Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
