Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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