I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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