OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I touched a dick in church today
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
