I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
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