Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
