marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
