I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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