I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
