Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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