You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
