I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
