is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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