I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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