I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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