I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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