ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sick fucks of a feather flock together
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
i think i just naturally attract stoners
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize