The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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