I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Randomize
