I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
"it" just moved
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
