these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
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He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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