ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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