Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
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When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
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Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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