She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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