Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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