Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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