Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
