"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
