I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
