Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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