He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Randomize
