lets start a swedish sibling band together
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
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