Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
