Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
His nipple licking is glorious
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