how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
