we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
