I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
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