How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i just google imaged poop.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
