garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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