Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Randomize
