I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
