I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
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