Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
