how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
