I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
You need Xanax blowdarts
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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