Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
