ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
