Cold hands, warm shart.
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
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