Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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