Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
