Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
