I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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