She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Fuck appropriateness.
handjob tips. give me some.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
