I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
