Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"