I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Randomize
