Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
