ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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