last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
