dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my being single is dangerous.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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