That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
