spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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