it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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