I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize